Well if it isn’t yourself! Here you are, assumedly after reading one of my posts, you wanted to know more about me. Something I understand, as a website’s About page is potentially my favourite page on a website. That said, my guess is you did not come here to find out how much I enjoy reading a good About page (though you are welcome to share your favourite with me!). Let me start with the nutshell version:
Who: Allie
What: trauma-informed mental health care justice blog
When: started in 2014
Where: right here!
Why: my struggles keep reminding me about the injustice of others who are also struggling
How: sharing my experiences
Hopefully that was informative enough for those of you who want to get back to my posts and enticing enough to get the rest of you reading what follows!
In 2014, when I started this website as a blog, my intention was to discuss social and environmental issues, particularly as pertained to Ghana. It was a fun time! After a few months, I began shifting towards developing a capacity-building program for youth in a Ghanaian town I know well, with a focus on decolonizing voluntourism, aid work, and missionary work – comment below if you want to know more.
When I moved to Ghana to live with the man I had previously married, all my plans went out the window, due to the abuse he subjected me to. My project fell apart, as a result – not helped by the fact that he had me living in a completely different region from those I was working with. After leaving him, I found out that I was pregnant and that my grandfather was refusing treatment for a cancer that had been found. So I returned to Canada in the hopes of seeing him one last time and he died 3 hours before my flight landed.
Naturally, my first steps were to figure out my financial situation and to find prenatal care. While I had not been living in the abusive situation for very long, I could see that it was impacting me differently than other situations of abuse I had previously experienced. It was important to me that I do as much work on my healing as possible, as I did wanted to end the cycle of intergenerational trauma.
Since, I have seen multiple social workers, psychotherapists & other therapists; I became a caregiver, when a stroke caused a jump in the progression of my father’s Alzheimer’s; I have had to deal with harassment & bullying from various people and institutions who should have been supporting mine and my kiddo’s wellbeing. And that is not to mention the impact of the pandemic that we have all had to suffer through.
In summer/fall 2023, I finally accepted that until I got the support I need, I will never get to where I want to be. I also realized that if I am struggling through all of this, what about others? Finally, I felt a push to get back into writing for my blog, in the hopes that my experience can help others to avoid inadequate care for themselves.
I am consistently inconsistent with my writing and proud of it! SEO be damned! Let me focus on sharing my story and let you focus on figuring out whether it applies to your situation and your next steps.
I had a therapist (who I have not yet had the chance to write about in here) from spring until fall 2024 (as it was through the public system, it was 6 months and that is because it was through adult mental health, not social workers – if you are in Quebec and have questions, please do reach out!) and my post-therapy homework, which I am very much struggling to implement, is:
- Get to a point where I am doing some kind of cardio (gotta get my heart pumping) 2 to preferably 3 times a week
- Parallel to the homework she gave me: spend more time connecting with nature – I will write about this soon, but I recently got into shinrin yoku/forest bathing/forest therapy. I have found that the impacts last for days when I do a guided walk, so if I could at the very least do a few intentions 2-3 times a week, potentially paired with the cardio, that would be fantastic! The therapist agreed with this, once I started sharing this with her and I was fortunate enough to find a guide who understands my situation and allows me to pay-what-I-can, on months that are too tight for the small fee.
- She put me on a waitlist to get help decluttering my home: I will write about this soon, but some woman in my neighbourhood gave me a bunch of stuff and it is taking over my 1-bedroom apartment! I need to find homes for the stuff I don’t want/need, but I care too much about my impact, so this is a hard one for me. Not to mention that even thinking about it often paralyzes me. And even if I do get the courage to ask for help, HOW do people help with this?! Ugh …even typing about it is enough to increase my heart rate!
- In the meantime, sharing my experiences in healing is one way to do something good in the world, while hopefully also helping myself move through this chapter of my life.
As always, it is important for me to let you know that
while the next steps of my journey and the current focus of my blog are on trauma and healing,
I AM NOT A THERAPIST, PSYCHOLOGIST, OR ANYTHING OF THE SORT!
My posts are NOT meant to give advice, but to share my experience. If my story can help you avoid the hurdles I have come across, then great!
That said, if you are in need of support, please do reach out to me and I will do my best to help you find appropriate resources in your area. As far as I am concerned, it is unacceptable for anyone to suffer.
Have a browse, enjoy, reach out to me, I would love to hear from you!
Obibini Bruni 